What I've learned about Australia from album covers.

Australia is a place I've wanted to visit all my life. I'm not someone with a bucket list, but if I kept one, a motorcycle run across Australia would be near the top of it. I think I'd do pretty well getting along Down Under because I've amassed a wealth of knowledge about Australia in my lifelong studies of album covers.

Because I was curious what game the boys were playing on Little River Band's Sleeper Catcher, I know how to play Two Up and what the sleeper catcher is.

Thanks to Air Supply, I know all about Sydney's Royal Botanic Gardens and that the Tropical Center has been demolished.

Not an Australian band, but thanks to the debut Quarterflash album, I know the proper usage of the Aussie phrase "a quarter flash and three quarters folly."

Because of Midnight Oil's Red Sails In The Sunset, I am familiar with Sydney Harbor and empathize with the Aussie stance on nuclear weapons.

Cold Chisel's East is the only reason I know anything about The Death of Marat by Jacques-Louis David. Jacques was French, not Australian, but Cold Chisel is.

From Men At Work's Cargo album cover, I learned that, in Australia, you cannot fucking find Waldo.

From Olivia Newton-John's Totally Hot, I learned that...well, I didn't learn anything, but thank you Olivia Newton-John's Totally Hot.

So, obviously, I'm an expert in Australian culture, geography and hotness.

G'day.